Good Evening, 

My last post was about not settling into my new house quite as much as I had hoped. Well, it's been a little longer now and since then I have had a week off too, which lead to spending a lot of time in the new abode.

I am feeling a lot more settled in now, I'm still not crafting and the library still sees little to no action - even over a week off. It's strange, now I live with my partner I don't need those filler hobbies I used to do. It's really sorted the things I do into different categories:

• Essentials - The usual stuff. Cleaning, washing, food shopping. This is all new to me (It's still kind of fun, which may wear off.)
• Fun / Hobbies activities - The things this house has lent itself too. Gardening has been the main one, a whole garden just for us to do with what we want! It's taken weeks but only 7 original plants remain and about 40 new ones are now in the ground. A shed has vanished.. herb troughs have appeared.. it's all great fun. We have also been watching a lot of classic Doctor Who and have been playing Pokemon, something I was really struggling with at first but it didn't take long to get sorted (basically, play it in bed like always and it's fantastic).
• Old time fillers - The activities that I used to consider fun and hobbies that have dwindled a lot. Mostly solitary activities. This primarily includes crafting. I love crafting of course, but I do it alone. I always have. Now I have another person using my stuff, I'm using theirs and if one is trying to craft, the other invariably follows. The craft room needs a change already, a spare bed must fit somewhere and maybe it's time to compact it all down. Card making was always my thing but it now falls behind the first two categories. Another activity that has fallen into this category for now is my pagan books...

So here it goes. The pagan thing.

Over the past year or so I have been taking a journey learning about witchcraft mostly but amongst other paths (Buddhism, Paganism, Green Magic for example). My favourite place was Glastonbury, wandering around the shops there and buying up pretty witchy items.

Not this time. My last visit, on Friday, was a real disappointment. I realised that I never truly considered myself a witch and all it took was the first shop to be the book shop for me to work it out. Leafing through books with 'Spells to improve your love life' and 'What the fairies can do for you' left me feeling... angry. You also cannot escape the process of casting circles and calling down The Goddess. This idea makes me feel uneasy and frankly, silly. It's not for me and my mind screams at me for even considering it.

Now I do believe in things, and some of those things are in the witch books. It does feel however that witches claim a lot of things for themselves. I am interested in magic, crystals, herbs and the Fae amongst other things and have unconsciously been collecting more specific books on these subjects in my more recent visits to book shops. I read a witches book and they are all present. I'm not making an argument as such, I'm just making an observation. Witch books contain the lot and incorporate it, although it is not necessary to be a witch to utilise them or educate yourself on them.

So am I Pagan? Well, possibly not. I need to work that one out too. I know this, I believe in Faeries, I know that crystals can do wonderful things and most of all I know that my mind is more powerful than I could ever know. The crystal gives you an item to focus upon, a mood, a colour ... but it's my belief and energy that makes the effects happen. I think holistic therapies are wonderful and work on the same principles.. I'm not detracting from it by making it more about the person experiencing it rather than magic. In fact, that makes it even more amazing. Sure, magic could heal you up real good.. but that you can do it yourself is the real magic. Consider the Bluebell, it's beautiful and awesome and yet completely explainable by science. It's no less beautiful for knowing it's ins and outs, why it's here, how it grows... 

I'm rambling. It's a monologue from my own mind flowing onto the keyboard. It wants out! I hope the message comes across, Frosty is not a witch. I'm still working things out (open minded as always) and felt the need to throw a few things out there. 

And so, as I read on the back of the book that made me more angry than any other, sandwiched between all the other 'How magic can do stuff for you, for free' books.. 

Witches are born, it cannot be learnt.

Well it's a shame I didn't pick that one up first!

Tata for now!